The day I die

As I wait to fly in what used to be my room I can't help but contemplate the days to come. Re-reading some the things I've posted has encouraged me to expound on a few of the things I've said in the past, here and to certain people.
I've made my final preperations to depart, I've checked my bags twice, secured my finances and I've weathered the expected torrent of goodbyes, well wishes, re-assurances and promises of fun upon my return. Also, a question that seems universal to everyone I talk to about my impending deployment is “Are you scared?
There is no denying the possibility that I may never return to the United States. I'm sure my friends and family won't like reading that last sentence but it's the truth. In all reality I could just as easily die minding my business back in the states, and that I could live a long but unfulfilling pointless life. Death is the final truth that all of us has to accept at one point in time and all I can do is hope that when it comes that I am happy and content with the way that I have lived.
I remember a time in my life where nothing mattered at all to me. I didn't care how my actions effected those around or even myself. I'd still be on that path if it wasn't for the people who went out of their way to help me. What type of person would I be if I was unwilling to step up and help other people? Not much of one, at least in my opinion.
All the political pandering and hyperbole prevailant on both sides of today's political spectrum can't change the fact that hundreds of thousands people died at the hands of Saddam Hussein and there was no foreseeable end to all of it. I can only hope that my service and those of my peers can actually make a difference when all is said and done.
The war in Iraq is far from over, and the end result remains to be seen. There have been mistakes, and things definitely could have been done better all around. That shouldn't stop us from moving forward and doing everything we can. The War on Terrorism won't just be won with big guns and missles, it will be won on the home front, and in the minds of people that many of us will never have the opprutunity to meet.
It's important to realize these people so often demonized in the media are people too, with beliefs, desires and wishes not so different than our own. If we don't then we are doomed to continually come in conflict with these people who at the root of things want the same thing we do, the same thing that many of us take for granted: Life, libery and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm just a grunt, a minor player in the grand scheme of things. So, I go forth to do what I do, hoping to make a difference no matter how small and only pray that we as a society can find a solution to the lingering issues and differences that manifest itself in the minds and effectuations of people such as Osama Bin, Saddam Hussein, and Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi
However, until that time comes it is necessary for people to figh;. I just happen to be one of those people. So to answer that question “Are you afraid” I always say the same thing, “Of course not”. I don't say that to boost myself or appear more manly, of course there is a certain level of trepidation of the unknown and what may come. In actuality, I am more afraid of the degraded mentality that would accompany the belief that nothing is worth fighting for and that I am too good to give the next man the same compassion and asisstance I once received.

Indeed, the day that I adopt that mentality as my own is the day that I shall truly be dead.

-----------------------------------------

I've had these thoughts in my mind for a long time, and not a day goes by that I don't re-evaluate where I stand in regards to many things. If it seems like I'm repeating myself then I truly apologize. I'm just simply trying to clarify some of my own thoughts so I can better understand where I am coming from myself. Hopefully when I hit the ground I'll have more things to post that other people will find more interesting ;)